Maintaining Calm in the Midst of Family Crisis

If you watched the news on television or read a newspaper last month, no doubt you know that TV journalist Tim Russert of Meet the Press died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 58. Based on the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s recent announcement that the average life expectancy is 78 years old for Americans, Mr. Russert’s life was clearly cut short.

Regardless of whether a loved one’s death was expected due to a chronic illness or sudden and unexpected, as was the case for Mr. Russert’s, families often find themselves in a state of shock and disbelief. Common questions include what to do next, how to begin dealing with the loss of a loved one, and what to do with a loved one’s personal belongings.

According to Rick Bauer of Caring Transitions St. Louis, “We find that when a death occurs family members often focus on the more practical tasks as the emotional issues can be quite difficult to face. Whether as a result of death or a struggle with realities of life such as disease or divorce, people often find themselves dealing with loss.”

“People grieving a loss and facing limited options often find comfort in being given choices and maintaining a sense of control,” said Bauer. He added, “At Caring Transitions, regardless of the situation, we encourage people to take charge of their future and give consideration to the many choices, difficult decisions and life transitions they are likely to experience over a lifetime.”

While most people hope that in times of crisis family members will come together and agree on what’s best, the reality is that family dynamics often introduce unexpected challenges.

“We find that people may not think clearly or act rationally. Peoples’ behaviors when stressed can bring out the worst at a time when everyone wants the best,” said Bauer.

Caring Transitions offers the following five suggestions to help families cope when in the midst of crisis:

1. Avoid Family Feuds – Disagreement on what’s best, what to do and who gets what can split families apart. Keep focus on the relationship. Don’t get caught up in the moment and let your emotions get the worst of you.
2. Be Realistic About Inheritance – While money divides easily, tangible items like a grand piano, grandfather clock, artwork, jewelry and other items do not. Many people now designate in their will their preferred disposition of personal belongings to help avoid conflict.
3. Consider Living Arrangements – Whether by choice or necessity, people often move because of retirement, functional decline or the death of a loved one. Having a plan and knowing a person’s preferred living arrangements can help expedite the transition and remove the uncertainty and guilt that often accompany change. This can be especially valuable during times of crisis when people second guess everything.
4. Engage Others in Difficult Decisions – People are different and what engages one person may not interest another. It is helpful to communicate and relate to a person in a way that he or she is most likely to find appealing. People tend to engage in one of three ways: the head – logical; heart – emotional; and help – based on necessity. Consider the person’s personality and the situation and engage them accordingly.
5. Identify Limitations – People often face functional or cognitive limitations that make life more challenging. When it comes to moving and facing other difficult decisions, consider what matters most in order to make a smooth transitions.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

In addition to being a famous line from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Parting is such sweet sorrow” it is also how many people sum up their experience when they decide to part with years of accumulated treasures. According to Rick Bauer, of Caring Transitions St. Louis, “Parting with personal belonging is often a bittersweet experience. Most people know they eventually need to cut back on their personal belongings, the challenge often is how to start and complete the process.”

If someone were to challenge you to part with 10% of your personal belongings how would you react? What if the challenge was 50%? Chances are some people may consider the challenge a welcomed opportunity to sift through, and get rid of things they have not recently used or used in years. Others might be frantic about the idea of parting with personal belongings they might need someday.

At certain stages of life, such as empty nesters choosing to downsize, or people moving to a retirement community, assisted living or nursing home, they are often faced with many difficult decisions such as which personal belonging to keep and which to part with.

When it comes to making a change in living arrangements, what often holds people back from making the transition and enjoying the new, often more carefree lifestyle, is parting with their personal belongings. Some people even experience an uneasy feeling or anxiety as they have an emotional attachment to their possessions.

“At Caring Transitions, we occasionally hear from our clients that the traditional moving process is rather cold and uncaring,” said Bauer. “People’s belongings have significance and stories behind them. For many people it’s not as easy as take this, ship the clock to Aunt Betty, and sell the golf clubs. People often need time and reassurance that they are making the right choices.

For others, they may have accumulated personal belongings over the years and may not know exactly what they might have in the many boxes and storage areas. As a result, the fear of accidently getting rid of something important, or which they might need one day, can paralyze them.

At Caring Transitions, we find that people make different choices based on their values, beliefs and even based on the urgency or speed at which they need to accomplish a move. Some of the more common approaches to parting with personal belongings include:
· In and Out - For everything new a person brings into the home, he or she must get rid of two similar sized items.
· Lack of Need - If you have not used or enjoyed something for over one year, you don’t need it and it is time to get rid of it.
· Replacement – Moving is an opportune time to treat yourself to things that are new. From the TV set, living room furniture, dishes and kitchen appliances, and more, purchasing new can help ensure a consistent style and that everything fits in the designated spaces.
· Legacy – Maybe it’s time to let others enjoy items that have meant so much to you over the years. People who give personal belongings to other often find tremendous satisfaction in giving and joy in seeing how others respond.

People often focus on the physical aspects of moving and by doing so overlook the emotional side. At Caring Transitions, we take great pride in helping people make informed decisions, sharing in fullness of the experience, and feeling good about their choices.

After all, it is not just a move, it is a caring transition. We support our clients as though we are an extension of their family,” said Bauer.

Estate Sale Popularity

Could the popularity of Estate Sales be on the rise as a result of today's economy? From the plummeting stock market and eroding value of the dollar to the soaring gas prices, consumers continue to spend but it's their buying habits that appear to be changing. Estate Sale shoppers today come from every walk of life - college students, newlywed couples, married couples and even the affluent comparing goods side by side in search of that perfect addition to satisfy their need.

Estate Sales as well are changing to keep up with the supply and demand of the consumer. "Better staging and presentation make a big difference in the success of an Estate Sale, not to mention the advertising and preparation that take place before the consumer even reaches the door," says Caring Transitions St. Louis Project Manager, Richard Kloeckener. A transformation takes place whereas the seller's home becomes an Antique Shop or Boutique for a day. Everything is well organized, cleaned and masterfully displayed with sparkle under the perfect lighting to capture the eye-appeal in the exhibition of every item from silver to crystal to artwork and collectibles.

"As Estate Sale professionals, our clients are two-fold when conducting an Estate Sale. The homeowners and families (sellers), for whom we are conducting the sale expect the highest standard of knowledge and return for the conversion of their possessions into cash. Having Certified Personal Property Appraisers (members of the Certified Appraisers Guild of America, CAGA) within Caring Transitions St. Louis, provides the business intelligence to accurately price those valuable items. This intelligence is passed on to our highly trained and experienced staff to assist our buyers, for whom we are equally obligated to in providing a pleasant and enjoyable shopping atmosphere that will keep them coming back and buying from us again and again. It's those followers who become very important to the success of our Estate Sales," Kloeckener says.

The frenzy begins early when buyers begin lining up to be the first in the door. Kloeckener states, "It's very exciting and reminds me of the days gone by when I used to go down to the local music store to buy tickets for a rock-concert. The music store would pass out line passes days before the tickets would become available to avoid a mob atmosphere on ticket sale days. I've done just that at our Estate Sales. Once advertised, I have followers showing up the day before or very early on the day of the sale and I find myself giving them line pass numbers to assure their spot to be first in the door!"

With all the economic doom and gloom that consumers are experiencing, changing one's shopping habit is not all negative. You don't have to go far to satisfy your purchasing needs. You can say that Estates Sales are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get!

What Is A CRTS?

A CRTS is a Certified Relocation & Transition Specialist. A CRTS has standardized practices and defined services that meet industry criteria. They are accountable to the client, the public, their fellow CRTS and the parent organization. They provide a complete spectrum of services, not just moving, just selling or just liquidating. A specialist understands the market and the competition. They realize the health, emotional and social issues surrounding their clients. Their #1 responsibility is to reduce relocation stress and provide a sense of control to the client. A CRTS is aware of their helpful but neutral role within the family dynamic. They understand their audience and knows how to empower, encourage and motivate them. A CRTS is organized, efficient and accountable through their documentation.

Senior Relocation: New Resources for a New Age

Downsizing. Moving. Home Transition. All have become a rite of passage for the 55+ population of today. But what about the services available to help ease the moving process? Who are the resources and what are their qualifications?

Much has been written in the past few months about Senior Relocation. Articles have appeared in AARP Magazine, Forbes, the Chicago Tribune, New York Times and many, many more. Kiplinger’s Report has called it one of the great Baby Boomer opportunities of the future.

The needs of a 55+ client moving from a long time family home can be quite diverse, and are often complicated by issues such as family dynamics, health conditions, personal crisis and financial constraints. It is important for consumers to understand available resources and their qualifications.

Five years ago, the fledgling industry of Senior Relocation organized into the National Association of Senior Move Managers. Today, there are over 400 members of NASMM operating throughout the United States and Canada.

Qualified Resources
Recognizing the need for industry standards and policy, NASMM endorsed the Certified Relocation Specialist (CRTS)™ program in 2006. CRTS professionals provide specialized services to assist those 55+, their families and caregivers through the entire moving process. CRTS are trained to understand basic social, emotional and medical issues related to a senior client, as well as space planning, packing, sorting, organizing and downsizing. CRTS screen and qualify many vital resources to assist with a move, including Realtors®, moving companies, antique dealers, estate sale specialists, waste removal and more. CRTS professionals focus on alleviating client and family stresses associated with home transition and help the client settle into a new home environment as seamlessly as possible. All CRTS certified professionals are required to pass criminal background checks and meet training, testing, ethics, insurance and continuing education requirements.

The focus of these specialized “move managers” is on the client’s future. The key to their success is granting the client a sense of control over the downsizing (or “rightsizing”) process, while helping them preserve their identity by honoring family memorabilia and personal possessions. A CRTS professional also provides support for adult children who may not fully recognize the impact relocation may have on their parents and their relationships. Such family members often benefit from third party guidance and perspective.

It is important for seniors to be able to rely on secure, caring, knowledgeable and qualified resources such as the CRTS professionals. Many other businesses such as movers and liquidators can help with a move, but have specific agendas and limited resources to cope with very real senior relocation stress factors. In those instances where proper support is not provided before, during and after the move process, seniors can suffer setbacks that range from disappointment to disorientation, depression, isolation and illness.

Financial Benefits
To avoid costly mistakes and regrets, major lifestyle changes and home transitions require pre-planning whenever possible. In crisis situation, Geriatric Care Managers can help families and recommend options for a sound lifestyle approach. Yet, when the decision is to move or modify the current home to age-in-place, a Certified Relocation and Transitions Specialist (CRTS)™ understands the entire home transition process and can help clients reduce stress and costs through established practices.

Client home evaluations are often offered at no fee. After an initial visit, a CRTS will help plan the transition, coordinate resources, manage the sale of assets to optimize worth and establish new home space plans to help save on moving expense. Services are “ala carte”, so the project is tailored to individual client needs and budget. By organizing the home, packing and downsizing, CRTS specialists not only reduce the very real stress of a major life transition, but also help make the home more appealing and valuable to potential buyers.

Summary
We have entered a new era in aging. Today’s seniors deserve to have appropriate resources and information so they may make informed decisions and pave the way for the millions of baby boomers in their wake. Moving forward with a late life home transition does not have to be excessively painful or difficult. By understanding proper sources for quality, affordable services, aging adults gain the support they need and a sense of control over their own entry into the next phase of life.

Select A Retirement Community That Fits Your Lifestyle

Have you been thinking of moving into a retirement community and experiencing the comfort that independent living facilities offer? In the past, retirement communities have been built in warmer climates such as Florida and Arizona but today, no matter what the climate, they are being built in all metropolitan areas throughout our country. Preplanning is essential in choosing a facility that will best fit your lifestyle. Here are a few tips to simplify the process. Do your research. It’s best to have a set of questions ready when visiting a community in order to determine whether the facility can adequately provide you with the amenities and care that will make you comfortable. When visiting, picture yourself living there. Many communities differ in costs, location, size, services, programs and amenities. Keep a list of your observations to simplify the decision process. It’s also important to conduct a thorough background check of the area. How does the overall setting appear? Is it clean and bright? Observe the residents. Do
they look happy? Talk to the residents and get their input. This will give you a clear picture of the overall community atmosphere. Are you planning on living alone? If so, you will want to focus on communities that provide an environment suitable for living alone. Do the living accommodations provide you with an intercom system? If you would need to contact an administrator, are they easily available to assist you? What type of security system is in place? While residing within the community, you want to spend your time enjoying all the amenities possible. Do you have certain hobbies or other interests? If so, you will want to choose the ideal retirement community that will satisfy your leisure time and not leave you bored. Communities that offer picnics or trips to museums and concerts is also an attractive consideration. You have labored for years and it’s now time to reap those labors and follow your pursuit to happiness without feeling those pressures or stress from the past. This is your time to enjoy life!

Organize Your Health

When people think of organizing, they seldom consider their health. Now that we’re into 2008 and our New Year’s Resolution of exercising more often has ran it’s course, as well as waiting for
that intellectual scientist to create the perfect magic pill that will make us look better and feel better, the realization that it’s not going to happen is discouraging. So Let’s Talk Nutrition Counting on ourselves to make improvements to our health is the only logical solution. Here are a few predictions that can put us on the right track for 2008. With all the superbugs that are going around such as strep, MRSA, bird flu, etc., what can we do? Establish a strong and healthy immune system starting with a good multiple along with a supplementation of vitamin C and zinc. Research is also leading towards herbs to support the immune system. Echinacea, Garlic, and Goldenseal are three of the top herbs and work best when you can find them in one formulation. As the bulges around our waistlines continue to become larger and we grow weary of those “fad” diets, the nutrition part of weight loss is starting to gain a momentum with Americans. Reduction in overeating and obesity can be curbed by providing the body with the correct nutrients it needs to sustain daily activity. Talk with your physician about developing a nutritional program that strikes the five keys to weight loss (caloric-intake, deficiency, acid factor, immune and activity). Including protein, vitamins and minerals in your diet will effectively curb your appetite while maintaining excellent health. The number one factor inducing health problem is STRESS. The body becomes susceptible to infection and disease during periods of extreme stress. An antidote to the effects of stress that continues to gain acceptance is the use of B-complex vitamins. A major key to good health and a longer life is good nutrition. It’s up to you to organize your life for the better in 2008. But remember, before changing any of your diet or exercise program, consult with your physician in developing an effective plan that will work for you.

The need for help in relocating older loved ones

Caring Transitions St. Louis specializes in assisting older adults and their families with the emotional and physical aspects of relocation. Caring Transitions have extensive knowledge about the costs, quality and availability of community resources. One call to a Caring Transitions can connect you with the services older adults and their families may need for a smooth and successful move, estate sale, property appraisal or property auction.
2850 Lawndell Drive
St. Louis, Missouri 63144
(314) 962-4200
http://www.ctstlouis.com/